Monday, January 11, 2010

ramblings of a mommy...

most of you are aware that lance has been gone for seven days. he won't return until Thursday, making his trip (drum roll please) ten days long. he is in Guatemala with a team of staff spreading God's goodness to Guatemalan children and equipping the men and women there for camp ministry. although his day to day has changed drastically, ours has been much the same... except we are missing a vital piece of our family. Allie said it best today when she said, "but, mom, i just miss daddy because he is my favorite and he loves me well!" those really were her words!

i put on a brave face the first few days, but inwardly wondered how i would ever survive. i can not fill the place of daddy in my children's hearts. on Wednesday night, i burst into tears to hear the sound of his voice on the phone. we didn't think we would get to talk and the surprise of that conversation sent me reeling. i didn't even know what to say to him... there was too much! and like a lunatic, (at 9:15pm) i woke up my children so that they could hear his voice as well. my mom came for days four through ten and that is just what i needed. she kept me focused on other things and on making things fun for the kids. i didn't really even have time to pout! THANKS MOM!!

i have to say that the craziest moment actually happened in Kohl's on Sunday. i was returning clothes at the customer service desk, the kids were looking at the toys on a near by aisle and my mom was strollering (i don't know if that is a word) Riley back and forth by that aisle. when i finished my transaction i walked to that aisle and told the kids it was time to go. in usual four year old style Allie began to complain. i had walked about 10 steps past the aisle and bent down to speak to her about her attitude.
we finished our conversation and i hollered, "come on Caleb."
no response.
"Caleb, let's go!"
no response.
walk ten steps back.... no Caleb.
glance around. look down the aisles on either side.
look around the corner at customer service.
spot the restroom.
throw open the men's door. "Caleb"
throw open the women's door. "Caleb"
if you've been in a Kohl's you know it is in a square. my mind was spinning with movie type scenarios of what could have happened. i started shouting his name at the top of my lungs.
women scattered all over the store.
i ran down the aisle to the front of the store and my mom started toward the middle of the store when we heard Caleb screaming.
i was still terrified wondering if he was screaming b/c someone had him.
a man began yelling, "he's over here. a little blond boy? he's this way."
but it wasn't until i wrapped my arms around him that i could breathe again...

it was a great reminder to me. I'm not guaranteed another minute with any of my children. they do not belong to me. they are Christ's and i have the amazing privilege of being there mommy while they are on earth. and i want to see it as such... a privilege... even on the hard, long days when daddy's gone and I'm tired! if one of my kiddos goes to be with Jesus before me, or (God forbid) is snatched up in a store, i want to know that i poured out all of the love, laughs, time, and energy that i could!

that's why -even though my mantel is covered in cars that caleb has had taken away for his disobedience this week- and even though allie crumbles into an emotional mess at the drop of a pin- even still....that's why tomorrow morning I will put my feet on the floor, drag my body to the kitchen, and be grateful that i have three beautiful children to feed breakfast.
and we'll start our day and be GLAD in it!

**side note: we still have no idea how Caleb got so far away w/ out my mom or i seeing him. best guess is that he walked along the back wall and then into the main aisle. i think he may have been following someone that he thought was me?? he was freaked out when i got to him! :(**


  1. oh mandy, you are just the cutest, best little momma, ever! :) allie, caleb and riley are three blessed little kiddos.

    soon you'll get lance back and we'll get mallory back and we'll all be winners! ;)

  2. ha,ha! for sure mackenzie! we will be at the airport waiting for their arrival!

  3. give mallory a hug for me! i don't even know when i'll see her next! :(

  4. Thanks for such a great reminder of how much of a privilege it is to be Bobby's mommy...even when he is screaming for no reason or when I do not want to get out of bed to feed him. God gave him as my responsibility and I am extremely grateful!

  5. AMEN! Thanks for the encouragemoent! I felt just that way sitting in the ER with Luke when he had a severe allergic reaction to a pistachio. I thought, "Now, why in the world was I inwardly complaining about playing 'zoo' for the hundredth time with him this morning? What a blessing it is to play zoo!" Experiences like that are eye-opening for sure!

  6. Thank God you are all safe and well. Being priviledged to be a mom is one of the greatest gifts that God gives. It was times just like your Sunday.......that's the reason I used a wrist leash on Kent (he still gripes about it today at age 28). That little bugger "ran off" all the time, scaring me to death.
    Lance will be home soon! You've done a great job, Mandy.


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