closing out a chapter

it has been almost three weeks now that we closed on our home in tyler, but i forgot to post these pictures.  we are getting close to the close on our richardson home so i thought i better get with it! 

we took one more walk through our empty house with the kiddos.  it felt so big (especially after our living situation the last few months).  we had to pause and pray, thanking the LORD for the provision of that house and the wonderful memories he allowed us to create there, including bringing home all four of our children. 

*sigh*

we loved that house...

see that light switch cover?

we left our story on the other side of it.

we had to leave a part of us somewhere!  :)

i wished that i would have had a skinny sharpie, but we did the best we could with what was in the car

and with that we had one more uhual to get to dallas.  this day was a beating.

we didn't ask anyone to help us.

we had our kiddos with us.

griffin was throwing up that day.

it was A W E S O M E.

the good news was that the kiddos were just the cutest little helpers!

see riley carrying a board from the play yard?

and helping me carry a drawer.

caleb rolling the cooler down the ramp.

and allie stacking up more boards.  i love that the play yard pieces are all over these pictures b/c it was a LARGE act of LOVE on the part of my husband to take it apart, move it, and one day reassemble it.  i love you baby... thanks for thinking of the things that are special and important to me!

what an awful pic of us, but LOOK what's behind us??!!  an empty uhaul... and that means EVERYTHING we own is in one city again.  woohoo. 

and now to just get it all moved to a house.  ;)

fear follows commitment

that evening as our sweet daughter rested, we set out to share her amazing news with others. we posted our excitement of being able to lead our first born to Jesus and immediately received messages from friends and family all equally excited to have a new sister in Christ.  

the next morning i woke her and began to share some of these messages with her and to remind her that we were still so excited for her decision.  

she looked panicked so i paused.

"i asked Jesus to come into caleb's heart too." 

haha... hmm.. 

"ahh, that is so sweet, but you actually can not do that for him.  everyone has to make a decision for themselves."

"oh, well, then i change my mind.  i wasn't ready and i might never be ready."

now i have to admit it was a pretty deflating moment for me, but allie and i have shared many of those in the past six years and i'm learning not to respond emotionally.  i stayed calm and just encouraged her that it was fine and she could let us know when she was ready but also just because she woke up fearful about this new decision - it didn't make it any less genuine.  i told her to just keep telling me her thoughts and questions and we'd chat about it as she wants to. i have to laugh... this is pretty typical for our girl... she beats to her own drum... she like things to happen when she dictates them and i'm pretty sure she would have like to have shared her own news in her own time.  

that being said, i have a few random observations from the weekend:

1.  although she said she was ready, i wish i would have said we were going to spend some time talking, reading, and praying through that decision.

2. her accepting Christ was her news to share and not mine.  i am going to be more mindful of what i share here, on fb, and twitter.  technology can be such a great tool, but i need to be sure i respect others in using it and that includes our kids.

3.  it's funny how fear follows commitment.  that has been true in my life as well.  i still believe her heart was pure saturday night and now it is my job to encourage her to be proud of her decision and to stand boldly for JESUS.  

4.  i want to boast in the work the LORD is doing in my own life... one year ago my response would have been to flip out, but he's teaching me to trust him with my kids, their lives, and their futures.  thanks be to HIM that i was able to reassure her in a loving way.

making a commitment

so this saturday night we had one of those moments that christian parents pray for.... 

from the time you realize you are expecting a baby (if you love the LORD) you pray that one day they will come to know and understand the love of Jesus that has so impacted your life.

 lance and i were tucking everybody in their spots in the room and going through what we call highs and lows (your favorite and least favorite part of the day).  we do this with each kiddo alone and that helps us keep in step with what is happening in each person's heart.  on this night, allie tells lance that she wants to ask jesus into her life.  lance was pretty shocked because it came out of nowhere... there was no bible read on this particular night and no lengthy discussions about christ.  he called me over and we did some probing...

"what got you thinking about that?" "do you know what that means"  "do you want to read and talk about some scripture this week and then see if you're still interested?"  "it's a big discussion... you can think about it some more."

she assured us that she was ready.  "i heard hattie's grandmother say that hattie had accepted jesus and i want to do that too."  "yes, it means that jesus washes my sins away and that i have to love him with all my heart, soul and mind"

we talked about what sins are, what jesus did, and that the "have to love" is really a "get to love."  we told her that the words of a prayer don't save her and that the things that she has done/will do won't save her, but just the expressed desire to bend her ways and her will to HIM and seek HIM as her SAVIOR.  lance quoted several scripture to her to explain the gospel.

any of you with children know that their "windows" of opportunity to teach/train are opened for such a short time.  we've begun conversations like these many times and then BAM! 

window closes. opportunity lost. sigh.

not this night!  

she was engaged.  focused.  

it was WONDERFULLY exciting to hear her pray those words... words that today may not make much sense, but words that begin her on a journey of discovering her GOD... it was amazing

before you comment stay tuned for tomorrow's post...
 in typical allie fashion...
this is not the end of the story.

Celebrating Simply

again... there are pics missing that are on my actual camera 

(i'll post them when i find my battery charger... ie - when i unpack)

here is the birthday boy first thing in the morning!
we woke him up with inflatable balls... this last move has our stuff everywhere and we can't find anything - including the bag of 100 balloons that i bought so that we would always have some.  sigh.

he is just the happiest kid!!!  LOVE HiM!! 

(my apologies for the aggie shirt, hee,hee)

we had a picnic lunch

and he participated in his favorite activity... swinging!!!  

although, you should know, he can now get out of swings and grocery carts.  his new nickname is Houdini! ;)

 and a simple "one" cake to end the evening

with a little blue surprise

he reacted alot like caleb did four years ago... surprised that something special was happening for him. 

can't you read it on his face... "really? for me?  you guys shouldn't have!"  

haha!  i love it!  and look at big sis... so excited for him!

time to dig in

yummy!!

it was a different kind of first bday.  no extended family and no gifts, but it is really about celebrating the life of griffin and we celebrated him all day long!

love you little guy!

SCROLL DOWN IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN RILEY BIRTHDAY POST!!!!

one step closer

last week we packed up our urban loft and moved to Richardson with our friends the penuels!

they lost their minds and thought it would be a good idea for us to move in with them for a month.  :)

here is the space we are in now.  it is the bonus room above their garage.  the boys sleep on the couch and allie has a mattress on the floor (in this pic it has been moved so the boys could watch a show and, yes, riley is actually asleep).  griffin sleeps just outside the door which has been such a nice change.

one of the many blessings of being here is the view from our window.  do you see it?  just to the left of that basketball hoop... tucked behind the house to the left... see it?  that is our soon to be garage!  :)  yay!  i drive by our house about three times a day. 

there have been two birthdays in the last week, but i seem to have lost a cord in the move.  when i find it, i will post pics of riley and griffins bdays!

riley turns THREE

he may have been sleeping in a closet, but we still have traditions, people!!  :)

we woke riley up with singing and lots of balloons!

he really likes the attention, but it was a little bright!

we let him open one gift first thing in the morning and then several throughout the day.
he got pieces to his train set, CARS cars, a star wars battle ship....

transformers...

and squinkies from us, friends and family.

his gifts were the epitome of BOY!

 that evening we celebrated at mcdonalds (pictures to come when i find my battery charger) and then came back to the penuels for cake!

here is a sneak peak at the cake when i was making it.  

good pics are on the camera.  

it is the bad battle ship on CARS 2.  

the silence is the hardest part

so, if you've been reading any posts in the past six weeks then you know that we live in a room.  and if you know my heart then you know that i love jesus christ with my whole heart and therefore put my hope and trust in Him.  this phase of our journey is but a faction of a breath (james 3:14) in view of eternity and if i keep the main thing (Jesus) the main thing then everything else pales in comparison!  

but if i am to be a genuine follower of christ than i am compelled to tell you that there are days where the main thing comes in line somewhere behind all of my selfish hopes, wants, and wishes that my flesh so desperately desires.  those are dark days! and those are the days that God's silence is like a knife to my heart.  please tell me you've had those moments.  moments of desperation to just hear from the LORD... not even concerned about what he may say as long as he'll just speak.  oh, friend... i am there.  

the silence really is the hardest part.

and if i stay there, it becomes dangerous.  the enemy convinces me that the LORD doesn't know, doesn't hear, and/or doesn't care.  i begin to believe that if HE loved me then HE would provide for these immidiate needs.  hmmm... unless i look a little deeper, dig into truth, and allow that truth to spread the rays of its goodness into the deep, dark lies of doubt.  

you see, the LORD is concerned for our immediate needs!  our spiritual needs.  a home will not make me more righteous or push me toward godliness.  Jesus knows what i need and it isn't ease. it isn't comfort.  He is stirring up things in all of us - not to watch us fail, but to refine us and make us into something more beautiful and more useful for His kingdom. 

now, i don't know about you, but i can't take my heart and make it spin 180 degrees.  if i'm doubting God's provisions and goodness, it is hard to come out of that spiral because the enemy is locked and loaded.  so here is what i've been doing to stay out of the danger zone. it's totally novel... i'm sure you've never thought of it... a totally new and original idea (do you hear the sarcasm? ha).

scripture!!

i don't know where we are suppose to go - psalm 23:1-4/ 32:8 - but he is my shepherd, he will instruct me

i feel helpless - 2 cor 12:9 - but his power is most effective in those moments

i'm tired, i can't do this - Heb 12:3 - but we are not to grow weary (look to jesus as our example)

this doesn't make sense to me - proverbs 3:5-6 - i can't rely on my understanding

this is testing my faith - Rom 4:20 - instead let it strengthen my faith

God doesn't hear my cry -james 5:16 - he not only wants me to pray and hears me, but it is effective

the list goes on, but this, my sweet friends, has been my life line.  lots of people ask us how we're doing this... only by His grace and in His strength.  and when the enemy tries to get that foothold - we have to defend ourselves with the sword of truth!