my heart is about two weeks behind my body. this is the week when emotions fly. i can sense all sorts of feelings bubbling up within me and i'm tempering them with the loving voice of my Savior as He whispers his truths to me.
lonely is defined as destitute of friendly companionship. that can not be the word to describe how i am feeling because i have been so sweetly pursued by many wonderful people in the watermark community. in fact, it is because of these thoughtful people that i'm just beginning to realize the process that my mind is going through.
i think the word longing better describes where i find myself today. i have "a strong, persistent desire" to have deep relationships again. oh, if this could only happen more quickly. but the hard truth is that those type of friends take time to develop... moments, memories, and experiences can not be microwaved... it is a slow cooker process.
i'm getting plenty of experience with our crock pot these days. other than a griddle, it is our only source to cook from in the apartment. the crazy part about the crock pot is you have to plan ahead and you have to spend ALL day with it. in order for the foods to taste good, all the ingredients have to "marry" together for hours. this process has been a reminder of the time and effort it will take to have deep relationships in our new place.
it has also been a reminder of the even stronger and more deeply rooted part of me that really just LONGS to be reunited with Jesus. tyler is not my home. dallas is not my home.
my home is heaven and my heart is longing to be with my Father!