fear follows commitment

that evening as our sweet daughter rested, we set out to share her amazing news with others. we posted our excitement of being able to lead our first born to Jesus and immediately received messages from friends and family all equally excited to have a new sister in Christ.  

the next morning i woke her and began to share some of these messages with her and to remind her that we were still so excited for her decision.  

she looked panicked so i paused.

"i asked Jesus to come into caleb's heart too." 

haha... hmm.. 

"ahh, that is so sweet, but you actually can not do that for him.  everyone has to make a decision for themselves."

"oh, well, then i change my mind.  i wasn't ready and i might never be ready."

now i have to admit it was a pretty deflating moment for me, but allie and i have shared many of those in the past six years and i'm learning not to respond emotionally.  i stayed calm and just encouraged her that it was fine and she could let us know when she was ready but also just because she woke up fearful about this new decision - it didn't make it any less genuine.  i told her to just keep telling me her thoughts and questions and we'd chat about it as she wants to. i have to laugh... this is pretty typical for our girl... she beats to her own drum... she like things to happen when she dictates them and i'm pretty sure she would have like to have shared her own news in her own time.  

that being said, i have a few random observations from the weekend:

1.  although she said she was ready, i wish i would have said we were going to spend some time talking, reading, and praying through that decision.

2. her accepting Christ was her news to share and not mine.  i am going to be more mindful of what i share here, on fb, and twitter.  technology can be such a great tool, but i need to be sure i respect others in using it and that includes our kids.

3.  it's funny how fear follows commitment.  that has been true in my life as well.  i still believe her heart was pure saturday night and now it is my job to encourage her to be proud of her decision and to stand boldly for JESUS.  

4.  i want to boast in the work the LORD is doing in my own life... one year ago my response would have been to flip out, but he's teaching me to trust him with my kids, their lives, and their futures.  thanks be to HIM that i was able to reassure her in a loving way.