when my sigh broke his heart

Am I alone?  Do you find yourself letting out sad sighs throughout the day?  You know, bending over to pick up all the cars that were strune about the living room… sigh.  Putting all the laundry away to look over and notice the dirty-clothes basket is full again… sigh.  Listening to your kids scream at one another over who gets to push the elevator button… sigh. It seems like it just isn’t that hard to find something to sulk about these days. 

However, my sweet six year old taught me a very valuable lesson this week.  I was definitely (as much as I hate to admit it) having a sigh-filled day.  The kids had worn me to the deepest point of down and it was only nine in the morning.  As I was sweeping for the third time since breakfast, I let out one of my all too present sighs.  Our bright-eyed, blonde sweetheart looked at me and asked what was wrong and I told him I was sweeping AGAIN.  He sweetly asked me what happened and I replied (ever so graceLESSly), “kids happened!”

He melted.  I watched him sink in his chair and say, “I’m the worst boy ever!” Oh!!  I would have done anything to take back my words… to take back my sighs!!  We had a great follow up conversation, but he let me into that secret world of a kid’s mind.  The place where they hold their thoughts that they usually don’t share.  He said that when he sees me frustrated by the messes they make, he feels bad about himself.  OUCH!!  Do I want my kids to be responsible and help around the house?  Absolutely!  Do I want them to use manners and attempt to get more food in their mouths than all over the floor?  Of course!  But more than that, I want them to see a mom that models Christ’s love even in the mundane day-to-day tasks of parenthood.  I can’t just teach them Philippians 2.  I want to live it out!  May we all “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than ourselves.”  May we “look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others.” And ultimately may our “attitudes be the same as that of Christ Jesus!”