grace- even for this

Our neighbors had a baby, their first baby...  cute, little bundle named Parker.  We really wanted to see him and hear their fun labor and delivery story so my man and I thought it perfectly fine to pop over after our four had fallen asleep.  Usually, once they are asleep they sleep soundly until, I don't know maybe 2 or 3 in the morning (insert tired mom laugh here). Once we knew they were on their way to dream land, we walked over and visited with this sweet family.  I would look out their front window from time to time to make sure everything looked calm at our house and I never caught any action.  I'm sure you can see where this is going.

When we returned to the house we found the front door locked.  Upon looking through one of the windows we could tell that our oldest was not in her bed.  We tapped, knocked, and banged on her window for what seemed like far too long.  Where was she? What have we done? Why was she not coming to the door? If we couldn't get her to come to the door maybe one of the boys would wake up and come - we tried their window.  Again tapping, then knocking, then banging.  Finally, from our son's bed, we see our daughter sit up.  What?  What was happening in there?

She opened the door and retold the whole story...
"He was crying and screaming real loud and it woke me up.  when I asked him what was wrong he said he could find mom or dad. I went looking everywhere for y'all.  I checked the garage and the backyard.  I went in all the bathrooms and checked in the baby's room.  then I started crying.  I looked in the front yard and when I came back I didn't want anyone to get me so I locked the door! Then, we just climbed up in his bed.  I held his hand, prayed with him and we fell asleep."

Listening to her recount their anxiousness was heart wrenching.... just awful!  There hasn't been a moment when I felt more like a loser than that moment.  I didn't sleep most of the night and just kept wondering how I could put a personal desire over the security of my own children. Looking back on it, it seems like a no brainer - BAD CHOICE!!  However, I'm grateful that my God quickly reminded me that His grace is good in these moments too. Did we sin? No.  But He's all over our ignorant choices too.  If we didn't make them, we would need HIM!

I love Romans 5:2 which says, "Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." For those of us that know Christ - we have no excuse... that grace is ours to have.  Rather wallow in what a dumb choice i made, i had to stand in HIS grace, laugh at our mistake, and realize this is only one of many poor choices we will make as parents.  Thank goodness for his impartial grace!!