confessions of a mother

part one:

last Saturday we were out of diapers. i decided that i was tired of buying small packages only to turn around and buy another one the next week. i made up my mind to drive all the way to Sam's club with all three kids to get a large box of diapers. it may be a longer trip, but i will only make it once in three weeks, right?

the timing of the trip was a little tricky because last Saturday was camp's switch week and we had an event to be at by 12:15. i chatted with the kids on the way about helping mom be speedy and reminded them that we weren't getting hot dogs, pizza, or slushies, although all of them are super yummy and encouragingly affordable there! they agreed to be helpful and we proceeded to the store.

upon entering Sam's, i stuck Riley man in the cart and flew through the aisles to the back of the store. any other shopping trip he would have been securely belted in so that i could peruse the goods, but what was the point... we needed one thing and we would be fast. i grabbed that box of huggies and darted to the checkout counter. Caleb had a firm grip on the side of the cart and loved the speed in which his typically slow mommy was driving the cart. Allie, however, found it entertaining to see if her little legs could keep up with mommy and, for the most part, they did.

huggies went onto the belt, Allie handed the unassuming cashier the Sam's card, and Caleb was about three feet away scoping out some merchandise. i slid my debit card and began typing in my key code when glanced to my right. our oldest child and the most determined of all three had decided to scale the stack of four pallets so that she can look into the giant, open BBQ grill that is on display. i threw my wallet and debit card down while yelling, "Allie, don't...." my words trailed off as the grill rolled forward and fell from the top of these pallets. it is only by God's infinite grace that she was not even scratched. we were both shaking and crying hysterically. she blurted out, "mommy, i am soo sorry!" on repeat between her never ending sobs. i held her tight out of endless love and complete fear. Shaking, i stood up and realized that Riley was crying and, of course, unbuckled still. i began to walk toward him when i realized that i didn't see Caleb nearby. still trembling i mumbled that i could not find my son. all the bystanders from the previous event assured me that he was in the shopping cart and just kept saying, "oh, miss... he's in your cart." i was too far gone into hysteria to be able to piece together a sentence stating that I HAVE THREE KIDS! so finally, out of exhaustion and terror I screamed at the top of my lungs (much like my kohl's experience with this same child), "CALEB!" His blonde little head came bounding from around the corner, "Here i am, mommy!"

i scooped him into my arms and put him in the cart with Riley with what seemed to be hundreds of baffled on lookers. I'm certain that i even heard someone say, "oh, my she has three." HA! I would love to say that I left Sam's with my head held high. That i wasn't completely humiliated by the happenings of that day, but that would be a lie. Not only did i feel like a foolish woman, but inside I was withering away and questioning my abilities to parent my three adventurous kiddos.

stay tuned for the part two of this confession...